It is transfers week, which is crazy. I was wondering what would happen this next transfer!!
Drumroll...
I am staying! So me and Elder B get to stay together one more transfer!! I love Elder B, and Oncheon is a great area. I thought for sure I was gone, but I am looking forward to seeing some more miracles with Elder B.
Last week we weren't really able to meet investigators much. We had zone conference, and it was done in Oncheon-- we hiked Geumjeoung Mountain, stopping for trainings and talks several times on the way up. And at the top all of the missionaries had some personal time to pray.
The subject of zone conference was Recognizing & Understanding the Spirit, and Personal Revelation. It was pretty cool!
One of the greatest things I learned and felt was just that in the Sacrament prayer we are promised to "always have his spirit to be with [them]."
But there are so many times when, as a missionary, and as a person, we don't seem to have any great feelings or guidance of the Spirit. And this has concerned me sometimes! And I think most missionaries get to a point where they wonder if they are just dumb or not spiritual enough or whatever, because they aren't getting these huge manifestations of the Spirit... But I don't think it is like that.
One important point is that in DC 20:77, when it says we ARE promised to always HAVE the Spirit with us, it does not promise us to always FEEL the Spirit. I believe that unless we commit some kind of major transgression, and as long as we keep doing our best to repent, the Spirit will be our guide and companion though we may not be able to discern and recognize it. He can influence our thoughts and actions and decisions if we will allow ourselves to receive his influence through choosing obedience to God's commandments.
We can, however, increase our sensitivity to the Spirit. If we evaluate our thoughts and words and actions with the question,
"Will this invite or push away the guidance of the Spirit?"
Then we will quickly recognize that although some things we do or say or think are not necessarily BAD that they can have detrimental effects on our spirituality.
I also feel like the way that we pray is so important to personal revelation. Like President Russell M Nelson counseled us to do, I have started praying with an open notebook and pen next to me, pausing my prayer to write down thoughts and ideas. Since I started doing that, I have focused better in my prayers and feel like God has led me in a lot more decisions. I have also had specific ideas come to mind of what to share with investigators, and what to do to find more people.
I am grateful that God is willing to speak to us. However sometimes if we are over-analytical and anxious about our feelings, trying to discern between our ideas and the Spirit and temptation, it can have more of a negative effect than a positive one. It is important to be still, and wait for an answer, and then to do what we think and feel is best (with our mind and our heart), and following the counsel of prophets, ancient and modern. But it is not good to be frozen in fear and do nothing.
I know that as we do this that God will lead and guide us, according to needs and circumstances.
Love you all! Have a great week! And I hope we all seek more personal guidance about our lives.
Love,
Elder Beckett